Thursday, January 21, 2010

I love my...

Kids. I know that people that will say "DUH", but sometimes I have to reassure myself that I actually do love them - and not just because I have to. :) I love how they wake up in the morning. I love the smiles I get when I walk into the room. I love how W gets his own breakfast. I love how W picks out his own clothes. I love how the twins copy off of each other. I love when they play together or W helps them (especially when he thinks I'm not watching). I love when things happen for the first time, the second time, the third time, etc. I love how D and K look like each other, but can be totally different. I love that W is a smart little boy who is more like me than I will ever admit. I love that they are beautiful, loving, happy, healthy little boys. I feel so blessed everyday when I pick up D or K and actually complain that they are heavy. I am constantly amazed that I gave birth to these children. I have moments where I think I'm not cut out for this. I have moments when I feel selfish and I want to be alone and in a quiet room, but I know this is a compromise. I have never considered this a sacrifice. I am not giving anything up, I am just adjusting my life. One day, these kids will be self-sufficient. No, I will not miss this time. I will not wish my kids were babies again. W is 8 (almost 9) and I have NEVER wished he was little (even before the twins arrived) - and I can assure you that I will never wish the twins were babies again. I'm not sure if that makes me a bad parent, or if it's even wrong, but I don't care. I figure that there will come a time that I will be able to hold another baby and I will hopefully (by the grace of God) be able to see my children become parents and be able to watch their kids grow up. All I know is that I am doing what I can to get by right now. It's hard and somedays I just do what I have to just to make it through the day. There are days that I count the hours until nap/bed time. There are days that I don't have a lot of fun or am in a bad mood, but my kids can't tell. Ok, maybe W can since he's 8, but the twins can't. I am extremely blessed. I can not deny that. I can not...no, will not forget that I am very lucky to have my children, my husband, my family, my friends, my life.

Monday, January 4, 2010

So I'm just sitting around...

staring at the mess I have to clean up, wondering if I will have enough time to do it all and still have time to do something fun. The kids are dressed and have clean diapers (or at least at this moment), but there are toys everywhere. The dishwasher is empty, and there are dishes in the sink, because apparently I am the only one that can move them from the sink (or counter in some cases) to the dishwasher. I want to try a new recipe for dinner, so I have to find my cook book. I have at least 2 loads of laundry to do, plus the 2 in the loft that need to be put away and the 1 in the dryer that has been sitting there for a couple of days. The kitchen counter WAS clean, but is now covered again. And at one point today, I'd like to get a shower. Hmmm...what to do.

On a good note, one of my little boys said "Mama" and both are using signs all over the place. Of course they are both little troublemakers and have an anti-OCD thing about cleaning. While I like to have things put away, they insist on having every toy strewn across the floor. Oh well, maybe one day I'll have the main floor back.

Then, there is the dog. I was sitting on the couch last night and I just sat there and scratched her ears thinking what a great dog we rescued. Sure, she has every allergy under the sun. Sure, she's a little neurotic. Sure, she sheds like nobody's business. But, she is very patient with the kids and tolerates them being around her, using her as a step stool, and using her bed (even when she is in it). She does reap some benefits from this arrangement...she gets any food they drop or they offer (ok, so it's not willingly sometimes). She gets attention all the time (even when she's sleeping). Ok, she has to wait to get out of a gate because we have some rooms locked off to keep the twins away from the stairs, but she doesn't seem to mind it. She has free reign of the upstairs and her food and water bowls. We did have to move them because the boys wouldn't leave them alone. She gets plenty of snacks because the kids love to bring them out. Basically, we lucked out with the dog again. I'm glad that she found her way to us. She is truly a perfect dog for our family! So, Thank You Lab Rescue!

Back to the grind??!

It's been a while since I've posted but not much has been going on...unless you count Christmas. The boys are growing and we've had more snow in the past month than we've had in 3 years. I shopped for a month so wouldn't have to go out for a month and I was mildly successful. The down side of not having to go out is that you don't go out. There were times I went out just to get out of the house. I need to rethink that plan, but it was nice not having to pack up the kids in their winter coats and trying to manage both of them, by myself, in the freezing cold. Today school starts after the holiday break, so I'm excited, but things are about to get interesting...I have to get BB to the busstop, while I have T1and T2 running around the house. I wonder upset he'll be if I just send him to the busstop by himself. I mean, it's only 15 degrees outside!! Oh well, I'll have to devise my plan later. The twins are up...and I have to get dressed. More later!