My mom came up yesterday and we took the kids to see Monsters University. It was a cute movie, but it just reinforces the fact that my kids are nuts. :) They did pretty well, only asking when it was going to be over once or twice - and eating the popcorn and snacks within 5 minutes of the actual movie starting. Oh, and did I mention that my monthly "friend" showed up in the middle? Yeah..real happy about that. What can you do? LOL!
Then we had lunch, came back home and swam in the pool for a bit. After which, she took the kids for the night. Ahhhh...and then it was quiet. Hubby and I went to dinner and relaxed. I spent about 30 minutes trying to find my resume. I am at a crossroads. My old office posted a position that I could do. But do I want to go back to work? I mean, if I knew the kids would be fine in after care or I had other arrangements for summer, sick days, and days off, I would do it in a heartbeat. But, I don't...and I really don't want to screw up my chance to enjoy the twins' first year in school. Then the what ifs start...
What if this is my only chance to get back into it?
What if we find ourselves in a financial situation?
What if something else happens?
How about all of the sports? Equipment is expensive.
I loved my job. Not as much as I love my kids, but I really did enjoy working. I was heartbroken when I left. And then I really loved working from home. I guess I want it all. I want to work from home so I can still take care of the boys and the house. I mean, seriously, why can't it work? Then I think of all of things that I do and I start to question whether or not I can do it all. I mean, I volunteer with the PTAs, I chauffeur the kids to sports, I cook, I clean, I shop... Adding work to it seems stupid. Really, who wants to work?
I do. I miss it. However, after listening to everyone complain about the office and the direction that things are going, am I going to enjoy it?
Should I just apply and see what happens? Should I just be happy to be a SAHM? I am really stuck...